Kiss That Girl
by elmjuniper
Summary: The bard must take matters into her own hands when Keeland is being swarmed by the seductive girls of The Pearl. One-shot. FemPC/Leliana FEMSLASH.


**KISS THAT GIRL**

THE PEARL WAS A SODDY OLD TAVERN, well a whorehouse to be more specific. Naturally that wasn't what people called it, however the bard knew that brothel, whorehouse, tavern of lust, it all meant the same thing. Leliana who had previous experiences with places like this one also knew what the lascivious girls' job was. Evidently they did a very good job. She snorted as she watched Keeland in the middle of a group of girls batting their long eyelashes at her. Keeland smiled her crooked, charming smile, her lips parting in a seductive manner.

There was this one particularly sweet looking girl who seemed to have caught the warden's interest. She had the brightest red hair the bard had ever seen, not even her own red hair could compete with that girl's hair, and she had a silky, fair complexion and she laughed a most twinkling laughter as she put her nimble hand on the warden's arm. Did she really _have _to touch the warden when they spoke?

The bard narrowed her eyes. That girl was far too close to Keeland's face for her liking. Folding her arms she scowled disapprovingly.

"Is there something bothering you Leliana?" The witch's eyes gleamed at her in pleasure.

"Nothing what so ever." The bard cut her short.

It was silly what she was feeling anyway. She frowned. Keeland was... beautiful and alluring. Her darkness made her appearance even more appealing. Leliana liked the way she walked, how she moved during battled, muscles flexing, moving as agile as a cat, dancing across the battlefield, but this jealousy was irrational. She could see the witch sneer from the corner of her eye. Turning her attention back to the warden she saw the pretty girl cock her head jutting her lips in a sultry pout, flinging her hair over her shoulder. She snorted loudly. Keeland was such a flirt! And the bard was smitten, the warden must know this since she had taken to smiling slyly at the bard as she slipped flirtatious comments every now and then making the bard blush as she stuttered and stammered something incoherent back.

"'Tis a very pretty girl the warden is spending her time on wouldn't you say so?" The witch goaded the bard.

"Very much so and by the looks of her I'm sure she does not even like to eat." The bard retorted irritated. The girl was so slim, could anyone who ate be that fashionably slim? And her skin was so fair. Not like the bard herself, she was not fat by any means. She had the curves at the right places and was healthily built, though her skin was scarred from those torturous nights in Orlais. Looking over at the pretty seductive girl she found that she instantly felt uninteresting and unattractive in comparison.

Keeland's amused laughter caught her attention. Leliana didn't like how that girl made the warden laugh so much. She made it seem so easy to talk to the warden, but it wasn't! No, every time she tried to talk to the warden her throat dried up, her tongue tied itself in knots, and she fought to keep her thoughts clear, but usually ended up blurting out something stupid or silly and she did not understand this constant failure to sound sultry and inviting. _I blame you, warden_. She scolded the elf silently.

Watching the dark-haired warden she saw Keeland looking serious again listening attentively to the girl's every word. The girl paused every now and then awaiting the warden's nod before she went on.

"Ah, a girl who thinks before she speaks, not like some I know." Morrigan said smiling cunningly.

"What is _that _supposed to mean?" The bard asked turning to face the cat eyed witch.

"I'm just saying that considering the fact that you're a _bard _you're an awfully… ineloquent speaker." The witch stated.

"That is actually quite true sometimes." The templar shot in.

Leliana shot him a dirty look causing him to smile awkwardly before pretending to inspect the ceiling. Where there cheese hanging from it perhaps? The bard scoffed. _Oh what do they know! _Her eyes fell on the girl's feet wearing petite, beautiful shoes. They looked as if they were of velvet, a pinkish eloquently tied bow decorated the tip of it. It looked marvellous and she frowned in frustration as she glanced down at her own filthy, wet boots. _I bet her feet don't stink…_ She thought sourly to herself.

The pretty girl leaned in closing the distance between herself and the warden whispering something in her ear. Keeland's mouth seemed to drop in surprise as a cat-like smile grew on her lips. Leliana swallowed hard. The warden was surely going to ask the girl to join her in one of The Pearl's dodgy rooms. The warden's head bent low as she turned her face to the pretty, redheaded girl. _She's going to kiss her! _The bard thought desperately and before she knew what she was doing she cut in between the two lovebirds, facing the warden.

"Leliana..?" The warden said looking a little surprised.

"I know what you're thinking warden, but I wouldn't do that if I were you." The bard purred sultry as she wrapped her arms around the warden's neck.

"Why not?" Keeland asked looking bewildered.

"Because Keeland, I could think of at least a thousand ways that I can hurt you if you do, and you will _never _touch this." Leliana pressed her body hard against the warden before pulling her lips towards her own. The warden - though thoroughly surprised, reacted remarkably quickly, deepening the kiss slipping her tongue into the bard's mouth, passionately exploring her lips with her own. The bard moaned into the warden's mouth as she gently bit the bard's bottom lip before breaking free. Leliana felt light headed as she stared into Keeland's amused, green eyes.

"So, will you tell me what this has to do with Alistair?" Keeland asked her after a while, her voice full of lust.

"A-Alistair?" The bard asked confused.

"Isn't he handsome? I asked your friend here if she could introduce me." The pretty, redheaded girl chimed from behind the bard's back.

The bard's jaw dropped to the floor as realization struck her. Keeland hadn't been flirting with the girl at all! She had merely been whispering about the templar virgin. She gasped and sucked in air, holding her breath as she stared at the warden in horror.

"I… I… uh… you weren't… I, oh… how very!" She blushed furiously as the warden chuckled.

"Perhaps I should talk to other girls more often if this is the result." She teased the bard.

Regaining her posture she gasped in mock indignation. "Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"Is it working?" Keeland studied her amusedly a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"You are quite the player my dear warden, are you not?" The bard purred as she leaned in closely, her lips brushing lightly at the elvish warden's lips, but before the warden could claim the bard as her own she had withdrawn. "Now surely you must know two can play this game." She teased placing her soft finger on the warden's lips.

"Oh will the two of you just get this over with!" The witch snapped in annoyance, tapping her fingers impatiently on her arm.

"Yes, please do we do not mind watching. Really." The antivan chuckled ogling the two women in front of him with hungry eyes.

"Cheese..!" The templar chimed in falsetto blushing at the ceiling.

The bard chuckled throatily as the warden defied them all by pulling her along muttering to the companion's across the shoulders. "Don't wait up we'll be a while."

THE END

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: **Everything you recognize from Dragon Age: Origins is the property of BioWare. I'm just borrowing them to show my eternal love for the game and its characters. No copyrights infringement intended. Keeland is mine though, but if you ask nicely you're more than welcome to borrow her. ^^

**A/N: **I bought Kate Nash's newest album My Best Friend Is You and fell in love with it. One of my favourite songs is _**Kiss That Grrrl **_and the first thing I envisioned when listening to this was this little one shot where Leliana would be seeing it from Kate's POV. Oh, and by the way, I've decided to give Alistair at least one "cheese"-reference during an awkward moment in all my fanfics. Hehe! See if you can find it in Tread Carefully and Edge of The World. ;)

Hope you enjoyed it!

/Elmjuniper


End file.
